Broken Marital Promises

As I wait patiently in the aisle of the checkout lane of the grocery store, I can’t help but glance at the titles of the magazines. I read about several of my most watched movie star breakups with their spouses due to the popular reasons - - irreconcilable difference or adultery. When I think about my church community, I now see over ½ of the population that are divorced.

I don’t want to write this to condemn those that have gone through divorce. I write about this topic with utmost sincerity. It is what has been on my mind. I am writing merely to understand, and to express my thoughts. I want to understand God and what He feels about divorce. I want to write the truth - - God’s truth.

So I search through Scriptures. It is what God has given me to live life. It is the Word that I teach my children when I am correcting them, and where I go when I need answers. It is also where I go to be with Him.






The more I search through the Scriptures, the more I ache for us, the people of God. We have become deceived by Satan, the world, and even ourselves. We have been listening to the enemy, that when our marriage is not what we envisioned it to be, we bail out, leave, because the grass will be greener on the other side. We have allowed the world to dictate and make up laws on what is permissible than searching through His Word about the laws of marriage, divorce and remarriage. We have even denied the knowledge of God in our hearts, and used human reasoning to justify our selfishness and taken advantage of His grace and mercy for us. We preach about love and forgiveness, but we fail to do that in our first marriage. We are to love our neighbor as ourselves but we quit at loving our spouses unconditionally. We’ve spitted out words like divorce to our spouse, and in front of our children whenever disagreement arises. Yet we are in agreement when we pray for the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts to be pleasing to Him. When the world looks at the church, they do not see people that walk the talk. They see us doing both but in opposite directions. Thus all this, we have rendered the power of His shed blood on the cross powerless.

Here are the most common reasons for divorce: 1. They didn’t know each other before they married, 2. They were too young, 3. They didn’t take the time for each other, 4. Unfaithfulness, 5. Addictions (sexual, pornography, drugs, alcohol), 6. Financial problems, 7. One or both were Non-believers, and 8. Abuse (physical, verbal). I empathize with all these troubles in the marriages. I must add, if there is domestic abuse, an immediate separation is required.

God hates divorce. He says it in the book of Malachi. When Jesus came to the earth, He reiterated God’s law, He didn’t change it. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Divorce breaks up families and it hurts God. We need the people of God to not accept divorce as a way out.

We need to be intentional in teaching biblical truth to the next generation. Even though we may not do it right in our marriage, it doesn’t mean they are subjected to the same. But, it is imperative we are transparent to talk about all of it, and we have to show it to them from the Word what God says. This all starts from an early age where we begin to tell them that boys and girls don’t touch. No holding hands, no kissing. We teach them to save this for the special person God has chosen for them. As they are old enough to watch TV, we monitor their time on there, even watch it with them. If we come across ‘bad parts’, we talk to them about it. There are so many shows on there now with blended families and single-parent families. These representations are not evil by any means, but they are not God’s best for us. We need to be sensitive that these things can affect them unknowingly. As they are reaching the adolescent age, we begin to talk to them about the dangers of dating and lust. We begin to tell them what God says about being unequally yoked. As parents, we are to keep the door open for them to come tell us when they are struggling with feelings for the opposite sex. We are able to help them overcome and rationalize their thoughts. To have this type of communication is one to be highly prized, for this begins when the parents are listening and talking to them when they are wee ones.

Ken has begun the discussion with our children that before they have a suitor, they must honor parental authority and responsibility. The Bible states that fathers are the head of their sons and daughters (Numbers 30 and Ephesians 6:1-4). Parental blessing and affirmation is to be consulted (Genesis 24, Proverbs 15:22).

You may think these are not culturally acceptable practices in the modern world, but the contemporary methods are severely malfunctioned. The divorce rate in the church statistically is indistinguishable from the unbelieving world. We have gone away from the biblical approaches and now it is literally a moral disaster.

I think people who have gone through the divorce and remarriage, they need to speak the biblical truth to their children. It is their duty as Christian parents to talk to them of God’s commands regarding the issue of marriage, divorce and remarriage. I have seen God restoring 2nd marriages, but this is not the intention and plan of God, and is not to be glorified. It is the grace and love of God that these relationships are prospering. How awesome is our God! The church, instead of condemning, need to help these families and nurture them so they don’t end up doing the same thing again.

I am deeply saddened when I hear of marriages ending. Each time we hear of broken marriages, we need to be on our knees praying for the restoration of the family rather than divorce, and we need to be interceding for our marriages as well, as none of us are exempt from being in the same position. Our world is fallen and it’s not going to get any better.

Finally, please find the time to read this important biblical teaching on Restoration of Christian Marriage.

Self-Control

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. II Timothy 2:24-26



Our children can do some pretty rotten things to make us fly off the handle, but this is not the godly response. As parents, we must develop the godly character of self control. If we call on the Lord to help us with self-control, He will give us discernment and clarity to train our children. We will be less prone to losing our temper. At the same time, we are developing godly character and becoming better parents.

Let’s not give in to our flesh and pass quick judgment on our children; they are sinners just like us. Just like the Lord is patient with us in our lack of self-control, we need to be diligent in working with our children on theirs.

Teaching Our Children Diligently

Deuteronomy 6:6-9
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

Do you know how to train your children in character and God’s Word? It is important that we pray for God to grant us the diligence, patience and love to teaching them God’s Word daily. Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” But, as I break the scripture in Deut. 6:6-9 apart, God is teaching me much more on how I can train my children Godly character through His Word. As great as my intentions may be, I often read them stories from the Bible or do daily devotions, but these methods are not as great as sharing my personal insight and application. You see, the more of God’s Word I have internalized (v.6), the more I see my children’s spiritual growth.

The more I share my life’s lesson with them, the more effective God’s Word will internalize within (v. 7-9). Lou Priolo writes in Teaching Them Diligently, “ Your goal should be to increasingly become like one of the scribes Jesus speaks of in Matthew 13:52, who knows the Scriptures so well that he “brings forth out of his treasure things new and old,” that is, things he has learned from others and things he has figured out for himself.” Therefore, God is calling me to place His Word in my heart and in my soul first, so that I may ‘impress’ these things in their hearts.

If I truly believe that my life’s questions can be answered in the Word, it’s imperative that I live it out through daily meditation and reading by myself and then with my children. At this time, I am finding out there is no effective shortcut to training my children. The more I seek the scriptures for wisdom and instruction, the more I am finding my character needs altering at the same time. I do feel encouraged that as long as my children see my need for God’s grace and mercy, daily seeking change and His will, they will seek God to change their inner being through watching me.

I’d like to encourage you that as you are doing your regular Bible reading, studying, talking, and singing songs of praise with your children, you will be able to show them how the Scripture can govern all areas of your lives. Ultimately, if God’s Word is in your heart, it does affect your entire life.

I also believe as we spend more time in His Word, we will begin to feel more confident in training our children. We have been given the responsibility to indoctrinate our children, the question now is not whether we are going to teach His Word to them, but rather are we going to obey God’s Word ourselves.

A God-Given Profession - - Homemaker

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.” Mark 9:35

Homemaker is the best profession to live out the above passage. It is a profession of service, and truly a role for biblical womanhood. One cannot be a homemaker and be selfish and discontent. But in these self-centered times, we are bombarded with a message that housework and child-rearing is something less than desired or important to making a difference in society. God is not fooled.

Keeper at Home, may I encourage you to reread Proverbs 31, and delight yourself in this profession. May you see that there is great gain in service to your family, and that the Lord finds great joy in seeing you build-up His kingdom.

Surviving Fatigue Raising a Newborn

There is no simple solution to escape fatigue when you just birthed a newborn. I almost hesitate to write this blog post because I do not want to tell you a list of things that you should do. It seems like I’ve had plenty of advice and warnings in the past. Many of these advice are out of good intentions, but every life and situation is so different that some advice are almost difficult and undoable. So whether you have one child or many children, whether you have family or friends around to help, we all need to rely on the Lord for strength and encouragement. He is faithful to provide what we need when we need it.

Since moms of a newborn baby is already sleep deprived, it’s very difficult to have that designated prayer and devotion time first thing in the morning, especially if that first thing in the morning begins with a feeding and diapering at 2 a.m., with a followup of the same thing at 5:00 a.m. Moms shouldn’t be loaded with guilt because they aren’t able to have the personal time with the Lord. Scripture says we are to pray without ceasing. (I Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.) Moms of a newborn baby may sacrifice their time with the Lord in the mornings, but they don’t have to sacrifice a relationship with Him throughout the day. Throughout the day, a mother can offer up prayers of thanksgiving for this new life in her arms. She can ask Him to give her the strength to care for her other children, to make the meals, or to clean up the messes. She can ask Him to show her how to direct the home school schedule with the older children. The quiet time with the Lord happens throughout the day, and it may be for a few seconds or a few minutes.

It’s also easy to be distracted by things that may discourage like the dishes that pile up in the sink, the spills and messes throughout the day, and even the pants that still don’t fit 2 weeks postpartum. It’s important to have a joyful heart though. I find that by playing worship and praise songs on the radio, iPod, or CD player can be refreshing, keeping my heart joyful and thankful. In Psalm 126:3, “The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” Throughout Scripture, the word “joy” is often expressed with a shout or song to the Lord for the ‘great things He has done’. Simply humming a hymn does wonders for one’s spirit as well. When I hear it, say it, sing it, the enemy and my flesh is unable to defeat my spirit and purpose. (Psalm 118:14-16, “The LORD is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation. Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous.”)

Eventually, I will have time with the Lord, but I do continually to read the Bible with my children. I have several readers in the household, so during our devotion, I have them read the Word while I may nurse, change diaper(s) and sip a cup of herbal tea. I try to make family bible reading a priority because the Word tell us that all those who go to Him will be satisfied. I have seen the result of keeping our devotion together. (John 4: 13-14, “Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”) There will be times where the kids will remind each other what we read during devotion time, and many times it will apply to me as well, and I’m convicted. One day we read a passage in the Bible about God answering people’s prayers, my young son pointed out that God answered our prayer of bringing dad safely home from work, just like God answered Isaac’s prayer for Rebekkah to be pregnant. I was awed at how sensitive he was to sensing God at work through our prayers. I may not have the time or energy to have a daily personal devotion, but as a family, we are still growing in the Lord together. When I had really young children, I played CDs of the Bible that I checked out from the library. I had Scripture on 3x5 cards that I'd flip through several times in the day. Spending time in the Word can come in so many different forms.

The Lord knows how much you can handle in this season of life. He is the provider of your needs. He will provide you enough rest and strength to handle the day’s tasks. The Lord will also give you the wisdom to plan your schedule, assess the priorities, and He will protect your physical and emotional being. This season of your life will pass quickly, and these tiring days will no longer be the memory of raising your children. The most important thing of my post is to encourage moms to always keep the focus on Him and to always seek Him first, and the Lord will be faithful to carry you through.

Laying It Down

Over a month ago, on a Sunday evening, I was approached by Ken about praying whether I should give up watching dramatic shows. I have a few I watch on a weekly basis, all of which I have followed since the first episode: Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and Brothers and Sisters. He had expressed his dislike of the Oprah Show before, and I had given it up for over a year now. But, I felt he was literally telling me not to watch anymore TV. After all, I don't watch TV during the day when I am teaching the children. I enjoyed my nighttime shows, but at the same time I knew these shows did nothing for my spiritual growth.

Before Ken confronted me, I had been bothered by an episode on Grey's Anatomy, when one 28-year-old resident student in the hospital was ridiculed by her colleagues that she was still a virgin. The 28-year-old woman felt ashamed of this fact and she tried to deny and hide this secret. I continued to watch the shows week after week, because it was what I've always done on Thursday evenings.

As I began to evaluate all these shows after Ken told me to pray about it, I realized it was not Ken telling me to let these shows go, but it was the Lord. I was ashamed that I had allowed these immoral shows become part of my life for so long.

How can I teach my children to commit to their spouse for life when I am watching shows where adultery is committed and accepted? If I tell my children that God hates divorce and He says so in His Word, then how can I continue to condone actors on these shows that consistently divorce and remarry season after season? Just 10 years ago, I wouldn't have come across same-sex relationships accepted on TV, but now it is politically correct to include homosexual relationships in almost all shows. The 3 shows that I watched had all of these situations portrayed. I was at a place where I couldn't continue to watch these shows if I was to continue to raise my children in spirit and in truth. I needed to ask for forgiveness of sin and give up my old ways. It has been over a month since I've seen an episode. But I am realizing that when it comes to living an intentional Christ-like life, I need to go cold turkey, rid of all viewing; there was to be no weaning off the shows. I no longer watch Dancing With the Stars anymore once I begin to be evaluate all of my TV viewing. I felt I could not watch men and women dressed like they are out to seduce their partners, when I am teaching my children to dress modestly. Since I've made that decision to evaluate what I allow myself to watch on TV, I thought I would struggle with temptation, but I have felt more freedom than bondage.

My prayer in sharing this private life of mine is to not to convict you of your TV watching. You may not have the same guilt as I do and you may watch the same programs, but we should all be open and sensitive to the Holy Spirit's convictions in all areas of our lives. If we deny and resist the calling to change, we become more and more hardened to His voice, eventually not able to reach the potential, and useless to reaching others for Christ. (I Corinthians 10:23-24 NKJV, All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well-being.) If we give up worldly things, then we have room for the spiritual things.

I know some of you may accuse me of legalism. I do know that our works don't save us - - it's our faith in Jesus. But if we are in Christ, we must do good works (what He has called us) for the glory of God. We are created for this purpose. (Ephesians 2:10 NKJV, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.") Therefore, I want all my activities to be pleasing to Him because I love Him, not for personal gain or for His favor. Would you join me in giving up the worldly things for more godly things?

Blessing of the Fruitful Womb

I am frequently asked if I’m going to have any more children. My quick reply is if the Lord allows me to have more, I’m willing. It has been a long journey for us to reach this point where we can say, “Lord, we are willing.”

I love my position in being a keeper at home, wife to Ken, and mother of 5 children, soon to be 6. I am grateful for the freedom to home school my children, developing a close relationship with them, and the honor to teach them the Word of God. Most of all, I am thankful that I have a godly husband, who desires God’s best, and is willing to lead and provide for his family, under the authority of Christ. God has given us a multi-generational vision to raise our children to be mighty warriors for His kingdom. We know after we are gone, they will continue to carry the banner to raise their offsprings for the Lord.

There are some (maybe many) that feel we have enough children and should stop the reproduction cycle. We’ve heard so many reasons why we shouldn’t have any more children, we’ve even tried to reason with each other why we should not. But when we set aside human reasoning, we realized that if we were to really trust the Lord, we feel we must trust the Lord in all areas of our lives, and this included allowing Him to dictate the number of offsprings. Children today are considered an expense and a burden, but God’s Word never speaks of this. God calls them a reward. (Deuteronomy 7:13-14, And He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your land, your grain and your new wine and your oil, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flock, in the land of which He swore to your fathers to give you. You shall be blessed above all peoples; there shall not be a male or female barren among you or among your livestock.) Sadly, it is the only reward we no longer pray for or desire an abundance. Stacy McDonald, in Passionate Housewives Desperate for God says, “ Under the leadership of a godly man, children are considered ‘arrows’ aimed against ungodliness.” (Psalm 127: 3-5, Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.)

We have gone through two major moves due to job loss and plant closings since we have married. In the midst of it, we continued to trust the Lord to provide for our needs. We’ve seen how God provided for our needs at a much later time, even though we felt the provision from God could have been sooner, to alleviate much stress and confusion on our part. But, we realized that God sees the bigger picture and knows what’s best. Now, we are less than 4 weeks away from expecting our 6th child, and our eyes are unfolded to what He is once again doing in our lives, providing us a 12-passenger van, inexpensively, and without needing to take out a bank loan. We’ve been praying for a bigger vehicle to transport all of us legally ever since we found out we were expecting, and we are now seeing His answer to our prayer. We know of many others before us that have lived with much less and have had more children, and their grown children are living testament for the Lord, powerfully advancing His kingdom.

I have recently gone into the Word and reread the two passages of women in the Bible, Sarah and Hannah. In Genesis 17:17, “Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Shall a child be born to a man who is one hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” Abraham didn’t believe what he was hearing from God. Genesis 17:15-22, “Then God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name. And I will bless her and also give you a son by her; then I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples shall be from her.” Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Shall a child be born to a man who is one hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” And Abraham said to God, “Oh, that Ishmael might live before You!” Then God said: “No, Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac; I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his descendants after him. And as for Ishmael, I have heard you. Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly. He shall beget twelve princes, and I will make him a great nation. But My covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear to you at this set time next year.” Children were not only important to Abraham and Sarah, but it was also important to God to have godly people raise offsprings. Even in Sarah’s old age, God prepared her womb to have a son.

In I Samuel 1, Hannah was not able to have children. What struck me is that in verse 5 it states that “The Lord had closed her womb.” Hannah was tortured by her rival, Peninnah, because of her inability to have children. Why did God choose to close Hannah’s womb? I do not have an answer, but God did open Hannah’s womb, and she had Samuel and dedicated him to the Lord. What joyous celebration this was in Hannah’s life?! She must have been so elated to experience the pregnancy and delivery, and to have the opportunity to love and raise him.

From these 2 examples, God chose the number of children for these two women. We only know from Scripture they had 1 child, but that one child was God’s plan. He opened and closed the wombs of these women.

Jehovah Jireh knows us, and He knows our finances. We are allowing the Lord to dictate the size of our family. I feel in a lot of ways, Ken and I are tremendously blessed with 6 children to raise already. Can we tell God we are satisfied with our 6, and opt for the tubal ligation or vasectomy? As children of the Almighty God who loves us so much and gave up His Son for us, how can we not want to surrender to our human desires, and give Him all of our lives, to look forward to Him saying to us, “Well done, my children.” ? We view the opportunity to bear and bring up children a high honor given to us by the Lord, and it is not a lowly burden to endure. We rejoice that we are able to be called by Him to bring little ones into the world to be souls that will glorify Him, and warriors who will contend with the enemies of God. How can we say no to more souls that will glorify Him and build His kingdom?