Self-Control

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. II Timothy 2:24-26



Our children can do some pretty rotten things to make us fly off the handle, but this is not the godly response. As parents, we must develop the godly character of self control. If we call on the Lord to help us with self-control, He will give us discernment and clarity to train our children. We will be less prone to losing our temper. At the same time, we are developing godly character and becoming better parents.

Let’s not give in to our flesh and pass quick judgment on our children; they are sinners just like us. Just like the Lord is patient with us in our lack of self-control, we need to be diligent in working with our children on theirs.

Teaching Our Children Diligently

Deuteronomy 6:6-9
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

Do you know how to train your children in character and God’s Word? It is important that we pray for God to grant us the diligence, patience and love to teaching them God’s Word daily. Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” But, as I break the scripture in Deut. 6:6-9 apart, God is teaching me much more on how I can train my children Godly character through His Word. As great as my intentions may be, I often read them stories from the Bible or do daily devotions, but these methods are not as great as sharing my personal insight and application. You see, the more of God’s Word I have internalized (v.6), the more I see my children’s spiritual growth.

The more I share my life’s lesson with them, the more effective God’s Word will internalize within (v. 7-9). Lou Priolo writes in Teaching Them Diligently, “ Your goal should be to increasingly become like one of the scribes Jesus speaks of in Matthew 13:52, who knows the Scriptures so well that he “brings forth out of his treasure things new and old,” that is, things he has learned from others and things he has figured out for himself.” Therefore, God is calling me to place His Word in my heart and in my soul first, so that I may ‘impress’ these things in their hearts.

If I truly believe that my life’s questions can be answered in the Word, it’s imperative that I live it out through daily meditation and reading by myself and then with my children. At this time, I am finding out there is no effective shortcut to training my children. The more I seek the scriptures for wisdom and instruction, the more I am finding my character needs altering at the same time. I do feel encouraged that as long as my children see my need for God’s grace and mercy, daily seeking change and His will, they will seek God to change their inner being through watching me.

I’d like to encourage you that as you are doing your regular Bible reading, studying, talking, and singing songs of praise with your children, you will be able to show them how the Scripture can govern all areas of your lives. Ultimately, if God’s Word is in your heart, it does affect your entire life.

I also believe as we spend more time in His Word, we will begin to feel more confident in training our children. We have been given the responsibility to indoctrinate our children, the question now is not whether we are going to teach His Word to them, but rather are we going to obey God’s Word ourselves.

A God-Given Profession - - Homemaker

Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.” Mark 9:35

Homemaker is the best profession to live out the above passage. It is a profession of service, and truly a role for biblical womanhood. One cannot be a homemaker and be selfish and discontent. But in these self-centered times, we are bombarded with a message that housework and child-rearing is something less than desired or important to making a difference in society. God is not fooled.

Keeper at Home, may I encourage you to reread Proverbs 31, and delight yourself in this profession. May you see that there is great gain in service to your family, and that the Lord finds great joy in seeing you build-up His kingdom.

Surviving Fatigue Raising a Newborn

There is no simple solution to escape fatigue when you just birthed a newborn. I almost hesitate to write this blog post because I do not want to tell you a list of things that you should do. It seems like I’ve had plenty of advice and warnings in the past. Many of these advice are out of good intentions, but every life and situation is so different that some advice are almost difficult and undoable. So whether you have one child or many children, whether you have family or friends around to help, we all need to rely on the Lord for strength and encouragement. He is faithful to provide what we need when we need it.

Since moms of a newborn baby is already sleep deprived, it’s very difficult to have that designated prayer and devotion time first thing in the morning, especially if that first thing in the morning begins with a feeding and diapering at 2 a.m., with a followup of the same thing at 5:00 a.m. Moms shouldn’t be loaded with guilt because they aren’t able to have the personal time with the Lord. Scripture says we are to pray without ceasing. (I Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.) Moms of a newborn baby may sacrifice their time with the Lord in the mornings, but they don’t have to sacrifice a relationship with Him throughout the day. Throughout the day, a mother can offer up prayers of thanksgiving for this new life in her arms. She can ask Him to give her the strength to care for her other children, to make the meals, or to clean up the messes. She can ask Him to show her how to direct the home school schedule with the older children. The quiet time with the Lord happens throughout the day, and it may be for a few seconds or a few minutes.

It’s also easy to be distracted by things that may discourage like the dishes that pile up in the sink, the spills and messes throughout the day, and even the pants that still don’t fit 2 weeks postpartum. It’s important to have a joyful heart though. I find that by playing worship and praise songs on the radio, iPod, or CD player can be refreshing, keeping my heart joyful and thankful. In Psalm 126:3, “The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” Throughout Scripture, the word “joy” is often expressed with a shout or song to the Lord for the ‘great things He has done’. Simply humming a hymn does wonders for one’s spirit as well. When I hear it, say it, sing it, the enemy and my flesh is unable to defeat my spirit and purpose. (Psalm 118:14-16, “The LORD is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation. Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous.”)

Eventually, I will have time with the Lord, but I do continually to read the Bible with my children. I have several readers in the household, so during our devotion, I have them read the Word while I may nurse, change diaper(s) and sip a cup of herbal tea. I try to make family bible reading a priority because the Word tell us that all those who go to Him will be satisfied. I have seen the result of keeping our devotion together. (John 4: 13-14, “Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”) There will be times where the kids will remind each other what we read during devotion time, and many times it will apply to me as well, and I’m convicted. One day we read a passage in the Bible about God answering people’s prayers, my young son pointed out that God answered our prayer of bringing dad safely home from work, just like God answered Isaac’s prayer for Rebekkah to be pregnant. I was awed at how sensitive he was to sensing God at work through our prayers. I may not have the time or energy to have a daily personal devotion, but as a family, we are still growing in the Lord together. When I had really young children, I played CDs of the Bible that I checked out from the library. I had Scripture on 3x5 cards that I'd flip through several times in the day. Spending time in the Word can come in so many different forms.

The Lord knows how much you can handle in this season of life. He is the provider of your needs. He will provide you enough rest and strength to handle the day’s tasks. The Lord will also give you the wisdom to plan your schedule, assess the priorities, and He will protect your physical and emotional being. This season of your life will pass quickly, and these tiring days will no longer be the memory of raising your children. The most important thing of my post is to encourage moms to always keep the focus on Him and to always seek Him first, and the Lord will be faithful to carry you through.

Blessing of the Fruitful Womb

I am frequently asked if I’m going to have any more children. My quick reply is if the Lord allows me to have more, I’m willing. It has been a long journey for us to reach this point where we can say, “Lord, we are willing.”

I love my position in being a keeper at home, wife to Ken, and mother of 5 children, soon to be 6. I am grateful for the freedom to home school my children, developing a close relationship with them, and the honor to teach them the Word of God. Most of all, I am thankful that I have a godly husband, who desires God’s best, and is willing to lead and provide for his family, under the authority of Christ. God has given us a multi-generational vision to raise our children to be mighty warriors for His kingdom. We know after we are gone, they will continue to carry the banner to raise their offsprings for the Lord.

There are some (maybe many) that feel we have enough children and should stop the reproduction cycle. We’ve heard so many reasons why we shouldn’t have any more children, we’ve even tried to reason with each other why we should not. But when we set aside human reasoning, we realized that if we were to really trust the Lord, we feel we must trust the Lord in all areas of our lives, and this included allowing Him to dictate the number of offsprings. Children today are considered an expense and a burden, but God’s Word never speaks of this. God calls them a reward. (Deuteronomy 7:13-14, And He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your land, your grain and your new wine and your oil, the increase of your cattle and the offspring of your flock, in the land of which He swore to your fathers to give you. You shall be blessed above all peoples; there shall not be a male or female barren among you or among your livestock.) Sadly, it is the only reward we no longer pray for or desire an abundance. Stacy McDonald, in Passionate Housewives Desperate for God says, “ Under the leadership of a godly man, children are considered ‘arrows’ aimed against ungodliness.” (Psalm 127: 3-5, Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.)

We have gone through two major moves due to job loss and plant closings since we have married. In the midst of it, we continued to trust the Lord to provide for our needs. We’ve seen how God provided for our needs at a much later time, even though we felt the provision from God could have been sooner, to alleviate much stress and confusion on our part. But, we realized that God sees the bigger picture and knows what’s best. Now, we are less than 4 weeks away from expecting our 6th child, and our eyes are unfolded to what He is once again doing in our lives, providing us a 12-passenger van, inexpensively, and without needing to take out a bank loan. We’ve been praying for a bigger vehicle to transport all of us legally ever since we found out we were expecting, and we are now seeing His answer to our prayer. We know of many others before us that have lived with much less and have had more children, and their grown children are living testament for the Lord, powerfully advancing His kingdom.

I have recently gone into the Word and reread the two passages of women in the Bible, Sarah and Hannah. In Genesis 17:17, “Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Shall a child be born to a man who is one hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” Abraham didn’t believe what he was hearing from God. Genesis 17:15-22, “Then God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name. And I will bless her and also give you a son by her; then I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of peoples shall be from her.” Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Shall a child be born to a man who is one hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” And Abraham said to God, “Oh, that Ishmael might live before You!” Then God said: “No, Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac; I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his descendants after him. And as for Ishmael, I have heard you. Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly. He shall beget twelve princes, and I will make him a great nation. But My covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah shall bear to you at this set time next year.” Children were not only important to Abraham and Sarah, but it was also important to God to have godly people raise offsprings. Even in Sarah’s old age, God prepared her womb to have a son.

In I Samuel 1, Hannah was not able to have children. What struck me is that in verse 5 it states that “The Lord had closed her womb.” Hannah was tortured by her rival, Peninnah, because of her inability to have children. Why did God choose to close Hannah’s womb? I do not have an answer, but God did open Hannah’s womb, and she had Samuel and dedicated him to the Lord. What joyous celebration this was in Hannah’s life?! She must have been so elated to experience the pregnancy and delivery, and to have the opportunity to love and raise him.

From these 2 examples, God chose the number of children for these two women. We only know from Scripture they had 1 child, but that one child was God’s plan. He opened and closed the wombs of these women.

Jehovah Jireh knows us, and He knows our finances. We are allowing the Lord to dictate the size of our family. I feel in a lot of ways, Ken and I are tremendously blessed with 6 children to raise already. Can we tell God we are satisfied with our 6, and opt for the tubal ligation or vasectomy? As children of the Almighty God who loves us so much and gave up His Son for us, how can we not want to surrender to our human desires, and give Him all of our lives, to look forward to Him saying to us, “Well done, my children.” ? We view the opportunity to bear and bring up children a high honor given to us by the Lord, and it is not a lowly burden to endure. We rejoice that we are able to be called by Him to bring little ones into the world to be souls that will glorify Him, and warriors who will contend with the enemies of God. How can we say no to more souls that will glorify Him and build His kingdom?

Men’s Rewards or God’s Pleasure

The photo of this scrapbook page was taken in September 2006.

This afternoon, Ken and I were confronted with how to train our children to accept failure and disappointment, without placing ourselves above other parental ways. We even asked each other what was the best way to train Godly character in our children.

Ken and the four oldest children participated in the Pinewood Derby in our church today. Our two youngest children, ages 7 and 5 were disappointed that they didn’t win the speed contest against their age groups. As we tried to encourage our two youngest of their effort, we began to also notice that many of those vehicles may not have been made by the children themselves, and we began to
wonder if there was much child involvement in developing the vehicles before the event this afternoon. Joshua told us that one child admitted the parent made all of it, and he was not present for any of the car making. Caleb even told us he wanted Ken to make one for him next time. In the meantime, we encouraged our children to enjoy themselves and not to focus on trophies, but we saw that it was difficult for them to handle the disappointment.

On our way home, we explained that we were proud of their car designs. We reminisced over this past week when Ken and the children excitingly picked out their paint at Wal-mart, they even spent some time drawing the cut-out of their vehicles, and sanding and painting together. It was a worth-while family event that each one had enjoyed. When Joshua pointed out to everyone in the van again that some of the vehicles there were made by the adults, Ken had to explain that he would not trade the fun in all the building with his children for many trophies. He then asked the children if they had fun this week, and each one agreed they enjoyed making the cars themselves.

We are not to judge the motives and effort of other parents, nor do we want our children to be bitter of other children’s awards. The most important life lesson today is that we want our children to give the Lord glory in all things, whether they win, lose, or even forfeit. (I Thessalonians 5:16-18, “ Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” ) We want them to learn to rejoice with others when they win, and be gracious to those that lose when we win. Their effort may not be noticed with flashy trophies or ribbons by men, but God sees their effort and He is always proud of their endeavors. In Matthew 6, Jesus speaks of prayer and fasting done in secret will be rewarded, but it is important our children learn from an early age not to perform for men, but to do everything to glorify God and to please Him. (Colossians 3:23, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”) I know they will have many more opportunities where they will be confronted with desiring the rewards of men. Therefore, I will be praying that Ken and I will not tire in cultivating Godly character into their lives.

Conversion Experience

Over a week ago, Ken and I were sitting in the living room while all our children were sitting at the dinning room table having a snack before bedtime. The conversation they were having caught my attention. Joshua, Aimee and Caleb were telling our youngest daughter, Rachel that she needed to accept Jesus to be saved and be able to go to heaven when she dies. As I was listening to the conversation, I was able to see Rachel’s face from the living room. I then heard her say, “I know Jesus.” But, I also saw some confusion.

I chose to not act on this conversation, but to wait and figure out what was God's best to handle this situation. Throughout the week, I wondered what Rachel must have thought. Ken and I have taught all of our children at home, biblically and academically. They have Bible as a subject that they study. We open our Bibles during devotion and reading times. During the day, I may even have Bible songs playing softly, or we may have a short worship time together. From birth, we have taught Rachel that Jesus loves her, and we believe she loves Him. She is receptive to our corrections, and has a desire obey Jesus. The 3 older children have all accepted and prayed to accept the Lord as their Savior at an early age.

It made me wonder if children born into a Christian home, where the Word of God is read and studied daily, would naturally accept the biblical teaching from their parents. Therefore, they'd accept the Lord as their Savior.

I'd like to pause here to note that Ken and I do not believe that children of Christian parents are automatically grandfathered into the Book of Life. There is no guarantee that children of Christian parents won’t fall away, nor does the promise of salvation guarantee a person not to fall away. But when we teach and train our children at home, we are taking and applying God’s commands and promises by faith (Deuteronomy 6:5-9, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”, Proverbs 2:26, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”), which in this case means faithful covenantal parenting, just as the promises of salvation assume that one is applying scripture’s promises by faithful living. Of course, believing parents can fail to pass on the covenantal blessings, like the generation that followed Joshua (Judges 2:10, “Therefore the LORD was very angry with Israel and said, "Because this nation has violated the covenant that I laid down for their forefathers and has not listened to me”), and they can raise their children to worship idols (Ezekiel 16:20, “And you took your sons and daughters whom you bore to me and sacrificed them as food to the idols. Was your prostitution not enough?” ). From the Word, God wants believing parents to be faithful in parenting their children. That is why a qualification for church leaders is to have faithful children. (I Timothy 3:4-5, “He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?”)

Ken and I discussed over this issue Saturday night. On Sunday morning, the church had a baby dedication (I call it parents’ dedication), where we took an oath to faithfully teach and train our 2 year-old in the admonition of the Lord. After the parents’ dedication, the church had a deacon in-training of the church share his testimony. His testimony was only a few minutes long, but it was revealing to me. He grew up in a Christian home where he always knew the Lord. He vaguely recalled giving his life to Christ around the age of 5 or 6, but he had always loved the Lord and served Him all his life. I know this man and his wife a little because they attend the same Sunday School class. They have struggled much financially this past year or two. He has lost his job and is still waiting for God’s provision for another job. In the meantime, he and his wife work part time as it becomes available. They also have grown sons who are faithfully serving the Lord. The couple have not turned their backs from their faith, but they are living it out on a daily basis.

A friend of mine shared this with me: Jack Hayford said in one of his Bible studies many years ago, that he had two young ladies that came to the Lord around the same time. One girl had many baggage to overcome, while another didn’t have as much, the girl with less baggage God was able to use her in the ministry sooner, while the other had to sort through her struggles before she was able to be used by God. So children that grew up knowing the Lord early is an advantage for the kingdom of God. I am in no way saying that my children will be without baggage and sin to deal with, they will indeed, and are struggling with their sin nature now, lying, stealing, disobedience, impatience, etc. My children are still in training, and even though by imperfect parents, with God’s help and parental commitment, the children can be used mightily and powerfully when they are grown.

I took the time this morning to talk with Rachel about Jesus' love for her and asked her if she would like to ask the Lord to personally live in her heart and help her live her life for Him. She right away wanted us to pray for her. I consider it pure joy and an honor to be able to celebrate this moment with her. Her conversion experience was sweet and peaceful.

My prayer is that our children will not only have the knowledge and wisdom of God’s Word and His promises, but they will experience a faith that is true, beautiful, and fulfilling so they will never want to depart for the worldly idols.